4. Be Respectful

Once upon a time was a guy named Abraham Maslow.  He was an early psychologist and he sat down and asked himself, “What does everyone, without exception, need?”

At first he came up with the list most of us would come up with: food, clothing, sleep, health.

Then he thought about it some more and realized that we need things that aren’t just survival.  He realized that we all needed to be secure, on some level.  We all needed a community to belong to.  And we all needed to be respected.

And it’s really true.  If we aren’t respected, then our ability to be social becomes dysfunctional.  We can’t trust anyone, and we treat everyone as if they were about to punch us.  We might become irrationally angry or even violent.   Without respect, frankly, we become people who find it difficult to deserve respect. 

The funny thing, is that folks on the street often find it difficult to obtain respect from people who serve them.

They will go to a meal and find people to be surely or rude or commanding.  They will meet outreach workers who treat them like children.  They run across individuals who make big promises, but don’t follow up.  They meet religious people who sincerely want to help them, but only if they agree with their specific religious views. 

This is so common that a couple of the folks who used our services and were welcomed at our day shelter said to me, “You know what I love about this place?  Here you really get treated respectfully.  People really want to know you and help you.  Other places aren’t like that.”  I was surprised, because it was always a first goal of mine to treat homeless folks like equal human beings to myself.

I guess I’m saying that it’s easy to get caught up in the work of serving without realizing that we are serving human beings.  We are serving people who lack, among other things, the basic dignity of equality.  When we offer what we plan to offer—a bowl of soup, a pair of socks, an opportunity for change—let’s also give some esteem.  Let’s be polite.  Let’s be loving.  Most of all, let’s give respect.